What Is Ego? 5 Steps to Free Yourself From It
You may not realise it, but throughout your life, you have created a sense of who you think you are. This starts in childhood, but over time, the words we hear, the thoughts we have, and the experiences we go through all shape this sense of self - or ego. By the time we reach adulthood, we are mostly living unconsciously, controlled by an unconscious mind. We identify so strongly with this sense of self, that we have forgotten who it is we truly are. But the truth is, we are all so much more than the layers of thoughts and beliefs we surround ourselves with.
In this blog, I’ll explain exactly what the ego is, how to become more aware of yours, and how to free yourself from egoic thinking.
What is your ego?
The word ego is Latin and can be translated to “I” - our constructed sense of self. The ego is like a layer of who we think we are, which separates us from who we are truly meant to be. Whilst you may think the ego is your identity, the real you lies beneath the layers of protection you’ve applied throughout your life to keep you feeling safe.
Our learning about the ego dates back to Sigmund Freud, who came up with the psychoanalytic theory, which outlines the impact of our unconscious mind on our thoughts and behaviours. Freud’s theory of personality states that there are three divisions of the psyche or human mind and that these separate but interconnecting parts drive human behaviour. These can be broken into the ‘ego’, ‘id’ and ‘superego’. The id is the instinctual part of our conscious mind, with two primitive drives responding to our basic needs, urges and desires. The ego develops after the id and allows these desires to be expressed in an acceptable way to the external world - which Freud also coined the ‘reality principle’. The superego, or big ego, is the part of the psyche that is our moral compass, which is initially learned from our parents but continues to grow as our morals develop. Freud believed that to have a strong sense of who we are (the ego), the id and superego need to be balanced.
In his personality theory, Freud also talks about defence mechanisms, a psychological term that describes how we protect ourselves when things happen in the external reality that make us uncomfortable.
How the ego shows up
Ego is something that many of us associate with arrogance, boasting, or someone that has an overinflated sense of importance. But the truth is, we have all been conditioned to act using our egos. So how do we know what is the ego and what isn’t? Some of the ways that the ego shows up are:
Indecision.
Resistance.
Anger.
Perfectionism.
Stubbornness.
Judgement.
Impatience.
Negative self-talk.
The ego comes from a lack of awareness, leaving an emotional path of destruction after it. It wants us to feel better than others and prioritises our interests. It does not live in the present moment and relies on the power of thought for it to become stronger.
How to free yourself of your ego
Many people want to know how to get rid of their ego. It is not our enemy; it is an illusion of ourselves. Freeing yourself from your ego is one of the most empowering things you’ll ever do. To rediscover our authentic selves, we must be willing to move past the thinking that places a hold on us and learn how to create more self-awareness. These steps will help you to check your ego and move past egoic thinking:
Step 1: Observe your thoughts
To begin the process of freeing ourselves from the constraints of ego, we must become conscious of our thoughts from an outside perspective, noticing them without judgement. Awareness of things we don’t usually see is key to beginning our journey to freedom.
Step 2: Overcome feelings of needing to be better
The ego likes to separate us from other people when in reality, we are one. We do not need to feel superior to others; we can learn to stop worrying about what other people are doing and, instead, increase our sense of self-worth.
Step 3: Practice being present
Being present allows us to receive insight and connect with our true selves. And when we are present, we are not creating stories to fuel the ego. Mindfulness and meditation are great ways to bring us back to the now.
Step 4: Let go of judgement
When we let go of judgement, we allow ourselves the opportunity to focus on the goodness within ourselves and others. Instead, choose love and send compassion.
Step 5: Practice gratitude
The powerful practice of gratitude helps us to start appreciating the little things. Gratitude helps the ego to stop comparing to others because whatever you are grateful for in the present moment is always enough. Instead of ego-inflating your circumstances, gratitude will help you to find peace.
Healing your ego
One of the most empowering steps you can take is to begin healing your ego. Our Spiritual Coaching Services are ideal for delving into your belief system and discovering where your ego may be ruling your life. Get in touch to find out how we can support you and to book your free 30-minute discovery call.
